Seven years ago at Christmas time I made the best decision of my entire life. I decided to adopt a morbidly obese, seven year old mutt of a dog. She had the most unbelievable big brown eyes I had ever seen and when I saw the photos of her physical issues all I saw was a sweetheart that needed someone. My thought was *maybe* she needed me.
Henwolf turned out to be the best dog I’ve ever met. She was smart, so smart she could collapse her cage when she didn’t want to be in it and also step on the foot pedal of my trash can if there was discard ranch dressing she wanted in there.
I don’t know where exactly she came from, she was saved from a kill shelter in Cincinnati by an organization called Louie’s Legacy and I adopted her from them. She was a boisterous and bombastic beast from the moment she walked into my home. The second day I had her she would follow me, walk without a leash, come when I called, stay when I said. It was crazy and she deeply spoiled me with the ease of transition. I had a best friend and I finally truly deep down understood what people love their dogs so damn much.
I managed to get her down from 120 pounds to 65 in about five months and it was an incredible transformation. She went from a sweet excitable but sleepy dog to an active wild creature. We would go for walks, car rides, and so much more. Whenever I go to the post officer or to grab dinner at a drive thru not having her in the backseat of my car breaks my heart.
She wasn’t just friendly, she DEMANDED your friendship. She wanted you to pet her and tell her she’s pretty. Other dogs were always her friends as long as they understood that she was the boss and she was there to protect the pack. Extraordinary was always the word I used to talk about Henwolf. As I look back it wasn’t even a big enough word.
This dog had a zest for life and living with a deep devotion and loyalty. After a few years together if I went out of town for a week, she wouldn’t even be excited to see me. She’d just come up and give me a sniff and want to be petted. She had the utmost confidence I was coming back. Now, if our boy Chicano went away for a week, she would sniff every inch of his body to confirm he was safe and well because he was her baby.
Speaking of sweet Chicano, the only thing I knew I couldn’t give Wolfy was a full pack. I realized quickly another dog would be good for her and I ended up finding one of the sweetest boys. I named him Chicano and he was an 8 year old dog abandoned due to his age and his early onset osteoarthritis. We both loved that boy with all our hearts, he came into our lives and once Wolfy trusted him she groomed and protected him daily.
One time at PetCo I had Wolfy and Chicano with me and this group of adorable excitable young huskies came to say “hi.” They were pretty polite and didn’t tick Henwolf off but they were so happy to meet Chicano it scared him and he cowered back. Wolfy stepped between the three huskies and Chicano and let out a giant bark. They all stopped and peace was secured. She was a born leader and it was fascinating to watch.
To say she was my pride and joy is an understatement. I cannot properly express how proud I was of Wolfy every day. Of how healthy she was, how smart she was and how sweet she was. People were always shocked at how well behaved she was.
In October of 2022 I noticed she couldn’t walk right, I dreaded this because I had a DNA test done which showed she had the markers for degenerative myelopathy. It’s a common ailment amount boxers (she was 50% boxer) and it slowly takes away the feeling in their lower half. Unfortunately with that type of illness there is nothing you can do but work with her. There’s not treatment, no meds, no amount of money can help it.
Two months later Chicano was diagnosed with recurrent cancer. He did have a shot at beating it and I did everything I could and spent a fortune fighting it. We gained him a lot of time but while all of this was going on only the people closest to me knew that Wolfy was fighting a very hard battle.
I never spoke publicly about Wolfy’s loss of mobility because there was nothing that could be done, I just loved her and worked with her. I stretched her legs daily, made her do squats with a harness, and walked her as much as I can. That February of 2023 like a miracle she just started walking better. I can’t tell you how, but she improved after we were told she couldn’t improve and that she had perhaps 6-12 months. By October of the following year she was struggling hard again.
Caring for Chicano during his cancer and Henwolf as she declined was brutal on me. I never realized how exhausted I was and how scared and worried I was because I was doing it out of love. Rachael stepped up so often to help me I’ll never be able to thank her enough. My friends all stepped up as much as they could to give me little breaks a peace here and there.
When Chicano passed in January 2024 cancer didn’t get him but his osteoarthritis had gotten so bad he could no longer stand. When I took him to the vet to say goodbye I had to reassure Wolfy, who at that time could barely walk. While I was at the vet I remember telling my mother and Rachael that we would likely be back the next week to say goodbye to Henwolf.
Something happened after that that I can’t explain, something that I sincerely think is the closest thing to a miracle in my life.
I came home to Henwolf alone after having to say goodbye to chicano and for 5 days I slept not he couch and sobbed and cared for her. She slept dutifully by my side but needed help standing and going to the bathroom. After a few days I was up filling her water bowl and she head butted my legs! She had stood on her own after a full nights sleep, something she hadn’t done in weeks!
For the next two months Henwolf enjoyed substantial improvements in her mobility, she still needed my help but she was so much more independent and spirited. It felt almost like she had realized what was happening in my life and knew she couldn’t let me down. She was so like that.
The decline came fast and on March 28th we had to say goodbye. She couldn’t stand up, she could barely walk at all and most importantly she was so tired. She wasn’t excited, she wasn’t zestful, she was living for me. When I saw that clear as day I knew I had to make that hard choice and let her rest. A dog that never rested, never relented, and loved wildly.
She made such an impact on so many people. Rachael said we had a “living wake” because when she was declining about a dozen friends came to see her and say goodbye. She soaked up their affection with as much joy as she could muster.
I sit here writing this with a broken heart, I miss my girl and I miss my little boy. I’m not a dog papa anymore but I was left with something so special. I learned just how much I can love, just how much I can care and just how much I can give. I understand myself and my heart now better than ever in my entire life. The best decision I made was adopting these sweet dogs and loving them with the knob turned all the way up to 11. I have zero regrets, just a lot of grief to process.
To everyone who had the pleasure of meeting Henwolf, I’m so glad for both of you. For everyone who followed her journey with me for the last 7 years thank you so much for all the kind words and love. If you want to lend a hand on paying off the last of the veterinary bills the gofundme is still up and I appreciate any help. https://gofund.me/282f16bb
Hug your loved ones, furry or otherwise. It’s what matters the most.
I love you Wolfy, the era of my life you were with me will always be so very very special.
